This Modern Death

In reading this article, rest assured that the author is no Miss Manners. I have one of the filthiest mouths in gaming and am thus far unflappable no matter what the dark or taboo subject matter. Even where the roughest of us characters are concerned however, there are basic considerations that are expected where game space is concerned. These are things that, like some truths, should be self-evident but some of you gamers need a gentle nudge in the right direction. My goal is to lay out a basic set of behaviors that are expected from you, the gamer, at the table and we’ll leave topics like “hygiene” and “how to talk to girls” for later posts.

Golden Rule: Respect the space.

It would be unthinkable to go to your work/mother’s/girlfriend’s/fuck buddy’s space, damage things and leave your garbage and empty drinks everywhere; why would you do so at a gaming table? This applies to home games, games at a con or games run in a shared space, like a game store. Nothing is more frustrating than walking into a game at a con to find empty soda cans and candy wrappers on the table. I once was moving a kitchen chair and found something dark, sticky and disgusting (that I want to never know the origin of) wiped on the edge of a chair. I’ve encountered spills that were never soaked up; food on the floor, broken things left on the table…the list goes on and on. There are two simple rules to ensure no other gamer has to deal with similar occasions of “Scary Gamer Area”:

Rule #1: There shall be nothing at all left on the gaming table before you leave.

If everybody takes 30 seconds to remove garbage, put dishes away, pick up dice and tuck in chairs, the table will be spotless and the space clean enough for the next gaming group to come in/to please the person who would have to clean it otherwise.

Rule #2: If you spill something/make a mess, clean it up. If you do not know how or know where the cleaning supplies are kept, ask the host, GM or otherwise responsible body for assistance.

Trust me. Anyone in charge of these spaces would rather help you find cleaning supplies in a heartbeat than discover the mess 1 day/month/year later, when it’s 10 times harder to clean up. If you have teriyaki sauce/boogers on your finger, I would be delighted to dash to the bathroom and get a Kleenex instead of finding it under my chair.  I won’t even make fun of you. Promise.

I’d be hard pressed to find any gamer that would claim that would claim I ask too much of them. Not only would these rules make it nice for the gamers to follow you, but it prevents people from hesitating at letting gamers into their space. Just because it’s not dirty enough to bug you doesn’t mean it’s not dirty. Break the “dirty gamer” stereotype. Respect and clean the gaming area.